The Naming Nightmare

So, no, it's not enough that I've been having vivid nightmares at night. By day, the nightmare continues.
One of the disadvantages of having a boy, apart from the fact that you only have one pair of shoes to choose for him for every 35 pairs of shoes for girls, is that naming them is much more difficult.
My idea has always been to choose a name that works well in both languages. For some reason there are many girls' names that are very cute that are perfectly acceptable in both Spanish and English, but, once again, for a boy, there aren't quite so many choices.
To be honest, things here have evolved in a way that almost any name goes.
While working at the nursery school, I realized that many people are looking for a more international name. Things have come a long way since the time when you called out Jose, and 86% of the class turned around. Last year the only name that was shared by two boys at the school was "Diego." (For girls, there were several Noa's, 2 Martina's, 2 Nerea's...) There was only one Jose.
So, how do they come about having such a variety of names?
People are looking for something a little more different, and you end up with names like Dario, Oswaldo, Neftali, Yishai, Franco, and even Braian. In the last case, while to me it looks like either the parents couldn't spell, or that they wanted a Brainy Brian, it is really just their attempt (albeit horrific, as far as I'm concerned) at making a more international name a little more Spanish.
I then tried looking to see what other Americans and British people were naming their kids to get some ideas. The little boy whose dad is from Wisconsin is named Rocco, and the little boy whose mom is British is named Oscar. While Oscar does work in both languages, for me, in English, apart from being a bit ugly, it automatically reminds me of Oscar the grouch. As for Rocco, it has become a bit too common here, and I think it's a better name for a cartoon Raccoon than for my little baby.
So, I spent hours going through lists of names, and decided that I had to look through the American lists because they were a lot more international. The Spanish lists didn't have the variety reflected in the schools here, and basically only had the most common (aka. boring) names like Juan, Julio, Jose and Vicente. Most sites make it extremely inconvenient to search for only boys' names, and you have to search through lists of names with the boys' names in blue, and the girls' names in pink, and the neutral names have some sort of asterisk by them. For most letters, you'd have to scan about 6 names before arriving at another boys' name- aboslutely frustrating!!!
I did manage to find quite a few names that work well in both English and Spanish.
There's everything from Adam(yes, there's one of those in the nursery school) to Alex (Yes, there's also one of those) to Greg, Eric, Eddie, Lucas, Jon, Dani, Ricky, Toni...
In many cases the full name doesn't work very well in one language or another, but the shortened version works perfectly in both. I actually have seen all of these names used here, and some of them are actually very common.
So, I started to feel a little bit better, and armed with my list of some 38 names that I thought were decent, and that conformed to what I wanted, I figured there would be enough variety to find at least one name that we could both agree upon.
I didn't have my heart set upon any names, but there are a few of them that I do like better than others.
Well, I couldn't have been more wrong. At the top of the list, because it was in alphabetical order and for no other reason, was Alex. I think it's a very cute name. It is maybe a little too popular in both countries, but maybe that is for a reason.
Mauri stops at the first name on the list. I hate Alex. It's Alejandro.
But, I argued, I don't like Alejandro either, I never suggested it. I like Alex. (There's one at the nursery school, and nobody has ever even attempted to call him Alejandro). Well, he continues, I think it's weird just calling the baby Alex "just because." It's a name that comes from nowhere!(?) (Although, to be fair, it has since been brought to my attention that Alex is the male version of my mother's name, Sandra, so it could be argued that it was a family name- even if I hadn't realized it when putting it on the list).
(OK, if you say so... I have a feeling that this is going from bad to worse...)
Eric, well it is better than Alex, but my friend is named Eric, and that's just weird. (And I'm thinking- haven't you ever tried to tell your friend that his name isn't Eric, and that it is really Enrique, going by your former judgement of Alex!?!?!?!)
...
So, he spends the upwards of about 30 seconds reviewing the list that took me hours to write, and a few names on my list get mocked, and the rest get completely ignored.
Days go by, and I'm feeling more frustrated about the name situation. Of course, by now, everyone is asking what the baby's name is. (What!?!?! You mean I actually have to have one of those!?!?!?)
So, finally, last Sunday afternoon, we went out for coffee to get out of the house, and I said, you know we actually eventually have to find a name for the baby. (I really didn't think it would be so difficult, considering we were able to easily agree on a name our furry younger daughter, Sheena, named after the wild Sheena jungle queen. Molly was already named when we got her.)
So, back comes the "I don't like Alex!" (Really!?!?!? You have to be kidding by now.) Out of 38 names on a list, why do we keep going back to how much you hate "Alejandro"?!?!? I never pushed any specific name, and don't understand how Alex built up so much resentment.
Ok, so I get the idea that you don't like Alex. So, how about coming up with some names that you like, so I can see if I like any of them?
(oh no, here it comes...)
Well, in the worse case scenario, we could always name him like me, Mauri.
(What's the worse case scenario? You hate every other name in the entire universe because it isn't Mauri?!?!)
I "wouldn't mind" that name. (I'm guessing that "I wouldn't mind" is man language for "that's what I really want.")
My first reaction. I don't really like the idea.
Don't get me wrong. I don't dislike the name Mauricio.
But, what about when I call out Mauri and everyone in the house turns around!?!? (or, more realistically, when I get completely ignored by both Mauri's)
I hate the thought of the confusion it would cause.
Well you can always call him junior. (I could, but a study in the 70's showed that there were 3 times as many juniors in psychiatric care than there are in the general population. Something about being a "junior" keeps you immature, and not feeling the need to grow up).
Also, whatever happened to finding a name that works well in both languages. He likes Mauri and not Mauricio...
does he not remember being in the US? Nobody can pronounce the Spanish r, so you end up with Maudy- which to me seems like a girls' name (think Maude).
What about the American version? Morris?!?!?- The perfect name for a cartoon moose.
Oh, yeah, and I forgot about good old Maury P. on the tv- so I suppose he could be moor-y like him.
On the other hand, though, Mauri does a lot for me. He's a great husband, and I do want him to be happy. He's not thouroughly sure about the prospect of being a father, so it would, in a way, give him a way to bond with the baby more.
In his mind, Mauri is a great name that is fading away. (True, there are no Mauri's in the nursery school).
Anyways, a week has gone by, and I've explained my dilemna to several people. The responses have been anywhere from...
Oh, no... anything but Maurico
To, oh, yes, let him name it after him. Men need that sort of thing... I wouldn't name my daughter after me, but men like that. That's why my daughter has an original name, but my son's name is Javier...
to... Well, it should be a name that we both like, and that Mauri "isn't bad" but that we both should be happy.
Unfortunately, though, as the week has gone by, I have grown more aware of how much I actually hate the idea of having 2 Mauri's in the house. (Isn't it enough that there's always confusion when I say I'm married to Mauricio R. because he is supposedly married to some other girl... but then it turns out, they aren't talking about my Mauri R., but about his cousin, the other Mauri R.!! Two people with the same exact name in the same city isn't enough!?!?!)
Then, last night, Mauri's parents asked about the names. I didn't want to say anything, so his mother immediately assumed it was because I'd picked out some horrifically American names that they wouldn't be able to pronounce.
Mauri, of course, doesn't hide the fact that "in the worst case scenario, he could always be named Mauri" (Remind me again of what the worst case scenario is... that all the other names in the world get used up or something?!?!?)
Of course, his dad was ecstatic at that statement. Mauricio is a wonderful name. Perfect. Marvelous. Oh, and there aren't very many of them, so it's a great name for a kid... Oh, and I'd like to say how much I love that idea. I love it. The name is perfect. Aboslutely. It really sounds great... (hint, hint... maybe more than a hint)
Of course, that's when I realize the situation I got myself into!
So, I was up until after four in the morning, not being able to sleep, only thinking about the many reasons I hate (might I say despise) the idea of naming my boy after his father. Even then, I never really got any real sleep, and was back out of bed at 6AM, reading and responding to emails, ending up here writing this entry.
I wouldn't mind Mauricio as a middle name, but as a first name?
Another problem with Mauricio is that it doesn't really sound very good with a middle name. Think Mauricio Alex? Mauricio Eric? I don't think so!!! (I figured the middle name would be what would save me. I'd call the boy by his middle name, that I would like, while everyone else could call him whatever the heck they wanted.) That's probably why Mauri's brother has a middle name, and he doesn't.
Then we go back to how complicated it is to have a house full of Mauri's... and how well it DOESN'T work in English...and how much I would hate that my son wouldn't have his own "identity"... and how much most kids hate being named after dad (making them feel like they have to be just like him)...
So, now, it's stressing me out.
I feel guilty, and want to do something nice for Mauri, but I have strong feelings against this particular thing. So, am I being selfish?!?!?
Not only are there less clothes to chose from, less shoes, less names available, but there is another disadvantage of having a boy: they have a father who wants to be proud of their son and bond with them...
Well, of course, this isn't the disadvantage. The disadvantage is that men seem to have a different way of showing this than women do, and I, being a woman, have a hard time understanding it.
I feel like it's already trying to impose something on the baby.
After all, it was the father's sperm that got to choose the gender...
it's the father's last name that gets used and passed on...
dad will even probably get more of a say about the activities and way to dress, than mom will, in the case of us with a boy...
Shouldn't there be something left for mom to feel like she gets to be a part of it all? After all, she is the one who is bloated, and moody and getting karate kicked from the inside, and not being able to sleep.
So, yes, I'm exhausted and moody and in baby naming hell.
Wasn't this part supposed to be fun!?!?!

Well, I guess I'll end with the 22 week email from last tuesday:
How your baby's growing:
At 11 inches (the length of a spaghetti squash) and almost 1 pound, your baby is starting to look like a miniature newborn. His lips, eyelids, and eyebrows are becoming more distinct, and he's even developing tiny tooth buds beneath his gums. His eyes have formed, but his irises (the colored part of the eye) still lack pigment. If you could see inside your womb, you'd be able to spot the fine hair (lanugo) that covers his body and the deep wrinkles on his skin, which he'll sport until he adds a padding of fat to fill them in. Inside his belly, his pancreas — essential for the production of some important hormones — is developing steadily.

(How big, exactly, is the "length of a spaghetti squash"?)

How your life's changing:

At this point, you may find your belly becoming a hand magnet. It's perfectly okay to tell folks who touch your tummy that you'd rather they didn't. And if people are telling you that you look smaller or bigger than you should at this point, remember that each woman grows — and shows — at her own rate. What's important is that you see your practitioner for regular visits so she can make sure your baby's growth is on track.

You may start to notice stretch marks on your abdomen as it expands to accommodate your growing baby. At least half of all pregnant women will develop stretch marks by the time they give birth. These small streaks of differently textured skin can range from pink to dark brown (depending on your skin color). Although they most commonly appear on your tummy, stretch marks may also show up on your buttocks, thighs, hips, and breasts. There's no proof that lotion helps prevent stretch marks, but keeping your skin moisturized may help with any itching.